On July 31st as I changed Jeremy's diaper and was getting ready to go out with the kids I noticed that Jeremy's stool was an odd color. I smeared it across the diaper and saw blood. Oh no, Jeremy was having another bleed, or was this an ongoing bleed from the big one he had a month ago? I packed my bags, left Chloe with aunty and uncle and headed back to the hospital. I was finally starting to realize that Jeremy's body always had a way of telling me when I should be concerned and seeking help. Although I never wanted to believe that Jeremy was sick (denial is a powerful thing) I knew deep down when he was in trouble.
When we got to the hospital they did blood work immediately and discovered that his hgb (a proponent of blood that carries oxygen throughout the body) was very low and that his neutrophils (a proponent of white blood cells and the first immune cells to arrive at the site of infection) were also very low. Jeremy received a blood transfusion and was admitted to the hospital on the 3rd floor. Soon after the transfusion, Jeremy's blood recovered well but the doctors were not comfortable sending us back home. They wanted to do more tests because they figured maybe something was missed. They did another scope of his upper and lower GI tract and discovered lesions throughout. These were cauterized and Jeremy was started on a continuous infusion of a medication used to prevent further ulcers. Jeremy also had several small round bluish-black spots on his abdomen and scrotum and a red spot on his right eye that I wanted to have looked at. I noticed these spots a few days earlier and they seemed suspicious to me even though I was told that they were probably a result of the surgery and scopes and that it was just veins being pushed closer to the surface. Dermatology would be involved and they would hopefully figure out what exactly these strange things were and whether it was something to be worried about.
Dermatology came and took some photos of the blue spots and also took a biopsy of one of them. An MRI was completed and there was more bad news. The cancer was not localized, it had somehow metastasized. There were hundreds of tumors spread all over Jeremy's tiny little body. The cancer had managed to find its way everywhere from his brain to his GI tract. Ophthalmology came and took a look at Jeremy's eyes and found large malformations in the backs of his eyes, the cancer had also taken over there too. There was a large lump developing under Jeremy's right ear, apparently the tumor was attacking his immune system and the lymph nodes were responding. Chemo would not be delayed, they would start the following day. Because Jeremy was so small and they were worried about another bleed happening, we were transferred back to the ICU for one night.
Every time we thought we had heard the worst, they always came back with more bad news. Brent and I were beside ourselves. Luckily we had each other as we were at the hospital together. We never wanted to leave Jeremy's side at this point. We held each other and cried. We were in disbelief that our baby boy would have to go through this and just reeling with the cruelty of the situation. We called close family and friends to let them know. Brent's parents came to visit, bringing Chloe along as we really wanted to have our family all together. Brent and I strongly believe that love really goes a long way and if you surround yourself with love when in a time of need, you will be able to pull through.
Our little sleeping angel. So innocent and unaware of what was going on with him.
Surrounding Jeremy with love, sending him strength and positive energy so that he would be able to stay strong and fight through the long journey ahead.
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